exams… that inconvenience at the end of the year

I don’t think exams are exactly fair.

If you told a monkey to climb a tree, it would do it no problem. you ask an elephant to do the same thing, It’s not going to go well is it?

The same theory applies to exams , People in my year have all different kinds of abilities and talents but everyone takes the same exams and only a few excel, not because the others are dumb its just they have talents in different areas. The employers only care about OCR and Edexcel flashy certificates and not about what talents people may have. And the government is wondering why unemployment is at it’s highest in my age range.

The other thing i really hate about exams are invigilators. Now invigilators are like the exam police, they usually take the shape of an OAP and they really are the most distracting things in an exam hall (Besides attractive girls). They are supposedly there to make sure things are quiet and no one is communicating. to keep things silent they use hand gestures across the room to communicate so all you can see while you’re trying to solve a simaltaneous equation is an OAP attempting to do what appears to be a deformed version of gangnam style. I have also seen the exam police with weaponry. I had a label on my water bottle and one invigilator spotted this and proceeded with none other than a flick knife to approach me. Here i was about to sit a science exam and then the OAP wealding a knife approaches, i was in a state of not knowing whether i was going to come out of the hall unscathed… Here i am, a surviver of an OAP knife attack, Unfortunately my kirkland water bottle suffered a more dismal fate. that same OAP hoodlum was the chief invigilator in my english exam this morning, and yes i did get scared and yes he had that same knife attack stare that i am all too familiar with…

moral of the story: Always where a stab-proof vest when in the vicinity of an elderly invigilator

PLEAAAAAAASE  comment, i need some feedback, tell me how to improve or even just suggest a topic you want me to cover!!!!

thanks for reading 🙂 





canteen & food. Edible or life threatening?

Like the majority of schools in the country my school is blessed with the ‘Luxury’ of a canteen. If you want to see anything from a fight to year 7 marriage reception (we’ve all seen one) the canteen is the place to be. The food on the other hand is less encouraging, From my canteen once I bought what appeared to be an innocent jam doughnut, (Jamie Oliver probably frowns at my school) it turns out that upon consumption it appeared to be a sugar coated bread roll without a trace of strawberry as advertised.. I basically wasted 50 fucking pence on a doughnut that turned out to be a roll from morrisons.

The canteen is also a perfect hunting ground for teachers.If ever you skip a detention, DO NOT i repeat DO NOT go anywhere within the vicinity of the canteen, i know this from stories my mates have told me. One person was about to lay claim on the last BBQ chicken sandwich (These things are the only thing that taste half edible in the canteen, The holy grail if you ask me) when a bounty hunter in the form of his maths teacher came and detained for skipping his court date (detention in educational terms) him like border force UK do with ‘clandestines’. The BBQ sandwich was left at the scene of the arrest and a greedy little year 7 got his grubby mits on it and the rest is history. The sandwich is probably in some distant sewage works now…


moral of the story: always do homework for your terminator-like teacher and don’t ever purchase doughnuts from the canteen.

please comment on what i can do to improve or just give me suggestions on what to write about!!! many thanks