canteen & food. Edible or life threatening?

Like the majority of schools in the country my school is blessed with the ‘Luxury’ of a canteen. If you want to see anything from a fight to year 7 marriage reception (we’ve all seen one) the canteen is the place to be. The food on the other hand is less encouraging, From my canteen once I bought what appeared to be an innocent jam doughnut, (Jamie Oliver probably frowns at my school) it turns out that upon consumption it appeared to be a sugar coated bread roll without a trace of strawberry as advertised.. I basically wasted 50 fucking pence on a doughnut that turned out to be a roll from morrisons.

The canteen is also a perfect hunting ground for teachers.If ever you skip a detention, DO NOT i repeat DO NOT go anywhere within the vicinity of the canteen, i know this from stories my mates have told me. One person was about to lay claim on the last BBQ chicken sandwich (These things are the only thing that taste half edible in the canteen, The holy grail if you ask me) when a bounty hunter in the form of his maths teacher came and detained for skipping his court date (detention in educational terms) him like border force UK do with ‘clandestines’. The BBQ sandwich was left at the scene of the arrest and a greedy little year 7 got his grubby mits on it and the rest is history. The sandwich is probably in some distant sewage works now…


moral of the story: always do homework for your terminator-like teacher and don’t ever purchase doughnuts from the canteen.

please comment on what i can do to improve or just give me suggestions on what to write about!!! many thanks