exams… that inconvenience at the end of the year

I don’t think exams are exactly fair.

If you told a monkey to climb a tree, it would do it no problem. you ask an elephant to do the same thing, It’s not going to go well is it?

The same theory applies to exams , People in my year have all different kinds of abilities and talents but everyone takes the same exams and only a few excel, not because the others are dumb its just they have talents in different areas. The employers only care about OCR and Edexcel flashy certificates and not about what talents people may have. And the government is wondering why unemployment is at it’s highest in my age range.

The other thing i really hate about exams are invigilators. Now invigilators are like the exam police, they usually take the shape of an OAP and they really are the most distracting things in an exam hall (Besides attractive girls). They are supposedly there to make sure things are quiet and no one is communicating. to keep things silent they use hand gestures across the room to communicate so all you can see while you’re trying to solve a simaltaneous equation is an OAP attempting to do what appears to be a deformed version of gangnam style. I have also seen the exam police with weaponry. I had a label on my water bottle and one invigilator spotted this and proceeded with none other than a flick knife to approach me. Here i was about to sit a science exam and then the OAP wealding a knife approaches, i was in a state of not knowing whether i was going to come out of the hall unscathed… Here i am, a surviver of an OAP knife attack, Unfortunately my kirkland water bottle suffered a more dismal fate. that same OAP hoodlum was the chief invigilator in my english exam this morning, and yes i did get scared and yes he had that same knife attack stare that i am all too familiar with…

moral of the story: Always where a stab-proof vest when in the vicinity of an elderly invigilator

PLEAAAAAAASE  comment, i need some feedback, tell me how to improve or even just suggest a topic you want me to cover!!!!

thanks for reading 🙂 





teachers… need I say more

I have a mixed opinion on teachers… a VERY mixed opinion. My geography teacher is a nice guy and always willing to help you out if ever you asked him and also he shares a mature 😉 joke or two with us meaning that the majority of the class have a lot of respect for him apart from the usual hardcore who refuse to respect anyone. This is in contrast to an RS teacher who shouts for respect, I dont have any good experiences with this woman, Once i was in another lesson when she walked into the room and walked over to where me and a couple of mates were sitting, i simply said “yes” to one mate (I don’t think its an expletive). For my ‘heinous’ crime i was sent out of and given the hair dryer treatment respective of that seen in Manchester united’s dressing room when fergie was in charge.

That day i found a new respect for that teacher, Not because I thought she was a respectable teacher, it was more I respected her or I died. As recent as a month ago a mate of mine recieved a TWO hour detention from this teacher for ‘invading’ her personal space (I shit you not). He couldn’t get the detention recinded, not because the detention was for a good reason, but more the fact that every other teacher including the head is shit scared of her. I would as far as to say she is a female hitler, She doesn’t gain respect as a rational human being should, She demands it from you otherwise you won’t ever see the light of day again… If ever you read this and you come across someone that fits the description, The chances are you know EXACTLY who i’m on about (As long as you live in england).

Please please comment, anything i could have done better or just something you want me to cover in future posts!!!

thank you and have a very good week 😀


# 3




canteen & food. Edible or life threatening?

Like the majority of schools in the country my school is blessed with the ‘Luxury’ of a canteen. If you want to see anything from a fight to year 7 marriage reception (we’ve all seen one) the canteen is the place to be. The food on the other hand is less encouraging, From my canteen once I bought what appeared to be an innocent jam doughnut, (Jamie Oliver probably frowns at my school) it turns out that upon consumption it appeared to be a sugar coated bread roll without a trace of strawberry as advertised.. I basically wasted 50 fucking pence on a doughnut that turned out to be a roll from morrisons.

The canteen is also a perfect hunting ground for teachers.If ever you skip a detention, DO NOT i repeat DO NOT go anywhere within the vicinity of the canteen, i know this from stories my mates have told me. One person was about to lay claim on the last BBQ chicken sandwich (These things are the only thing that taste half edible in the canteen, The holy grail if you ask me) when a bounty hunter in the form of his maths teacher came and detained for skipping his court date (detention in educational terms) him like border force UK do with ‘clandestines’. The BBQ sandwich was left at the scene of the arrest and a greedy little year 7 got his grubby mits on it and the rest is history. The sandwich is probably in some distant sewage works now…


moral of the story: always do homework for your terminator-like teacher and don’t ever purchase doughnuts from the canteen.

please comment on what i can do to improve or just give me suggestions on what to write about!!! many thanks






In case you didn’t figure from my about page. i’m a male in seondary education and i guess you could say i’m a school veteran now.

There is one integral part of the school life (I’ve noticed) of a male is females, correct am i not? this is a hot topic among us males at the school i attend, There’s this one guy in my year that likes a girl in one of the years below him and she likes him also, but they’re not aloud date. why? you ask,

not because of strict parenting. not even because one is extremely behind on work, but the reason they can’t date is the guys peers in our year. If he dates her he will be seen as a pervert and a weirdo. two people like each other like crazy? they are aloud to fucking date but then you add in the factor of age then all of a sudden they go from being a good couple to being two Serbian war criminals standing in front of the Hague in a matter of seconds. not because they have done anything wrong but because if you don’t follow the sheep and do what everyone else is doing you become hated all because of liking an attractive girl. people in my school just can’t accept a bit of difference.

On the contrary to the person who does deserve the girl but gets nothing is another guy who doesn’t deserve the perfect girl but gets her.This guy is the cockiest shit i have ever met (we all know one) and up until recent things were going swimmingly much to my dismay, but an old friend of mine named karma came to the rescue, He then proceeded to blank this very fetching girl to the point she started making indirect tweets about him which in todays terms is as serious as shit gets, He want’s to be with her but due to the fact he got so cocky that he decided he was too good to talk to her any longer, he ruined his fucking chance. that my friends is what the reality regarding females in secondary school is.

moral of the story: Be the nice guy, he gets all the girls at the end of the day


I hope you read til the end, please please please comment on anything i could have done better or just even any topics to do with school you want me to cover.

thank you 🙂

#1 19/02/2014